Day 94 -- Living the high life

My daughter's colonoscopy and endoscopy went well today.  No sign of blockage so another bowel resection won't be necessary.  There is a lot of active disease, which they biopsied, and we'll find out the results tomorrow when we see her gastroenterologist.  She slept in the hotel room most of this afternoon so I got a lot of grading done.  I'm definitely less stressed than I was yesterday.  We did some Christmas shopping tonight, and I get to sleep in tomorrow morning......a rare treat indeed.  Not even a dog to walk.  Living the high life.

Day 93 -- On the road again

I point my car east on I-90, and it just seems to know the way.  The trip to Rochester tonight (12 Dec), however, took longer than the normal two-and-a-half hours.  Having a daughter w/ Crohn's Disease means you learn very quickly where all the rest stops, convenience stores, and truck stops are along the way.  It didn't help that she was preparing for the colonoscopy.  All the stress of finals, illness, and Christmas took a toll on me tonight, and I got a little frustrated w/ her.  She hates taking the MoviPrep solution to clean her out.  I can't blame her....just smelling the powder made me want to vomit, and she was supposed to drink 64 ounces of that stuff.  She was supposed to start drinking it while we were en route to Mayo so it had time to work throughout the night.  Reasoning was pointless.  Begging was futile.  Crying was inevitable.  We stopped at Target for Miralax.  It's the only thing she can tolerate.  So by the time we got to the hotel, I was completely worn out.  I mean so exhausted that I couldn't even remember driving the last 25 miles.  Not good I know.  Thank God the car knows the way.

Day 92 -- Never That Simple

Went to Little Swan Lake Winery for some lively music and lovely wine.  Beautiful, balmy evening, and that's not the wine talking.  Didn't have to bundle up while walking the dog, and I noticed that I wasn't suffering shortness of breath as I have the previous few nights.  I had been attributing my breathing difficulty to the lymphoma, but maybe it was just the extreme cold exacerbating my asthma.  Could it really be that simple?

My older daughter's health certainly isn't that simple.  She's running a low grade fever that could be due to her Crohn's or the flu that's been going around or the wisdom teeth she has coming in.  What we do know is if she's running any fever on Tuesday, her Mayo doctor won't allow the endoscopy and colonoscopy.  If that happens it could be another two-to-three months before another operating room becomes available.  She can't wait any longer.  This has to be resolved NOW.  The "wait-and-see" approach isn't an option for her.

Day 91 -- Pictures, Calendars, & Shoes

Bill paying is depressing, and I was wallowing in a self-pity-party over all the extra expenses happening this month.  It also didn't help that today is the two-year anniversary of Mom's passing.  I called Dad b/c I knew he'd being having a tough day.  During the last two years, he has made few changes in the house he shared w/ my mother for nearly 60 years.  He has put pictures of her in every room of the house that he spends significant time.  He's created a collage for the kitchen table so he can eat breakfast w/ her.  On the sun porch where he spends most of his time, he has numerous photos of her at various times throughout her life.  When dusting, I have to be sure to put them back exactly b/c he has positioned them so he can see her no matter which direction he looks.  On the desk is still the December 2009 calendar with Mom's writing of her meetings and appointments.  On each day she wrote either an "L" or an "R" to remind her which side of her stomach she needed to giver herself the shot.  The letters continue on past her death on 10 December.  Just last month at Thanksgiving he finally allowed me to take away her clothes and give them to Goodwill.  But one pair of her shoes remain on the back porch, right where she took them off the last time.  Each time I sweep and mop there, I move them but put them right back, just like the pictures.  The pictures, the calendar, the shoes all stationary reminders that time passes.

I tried not to wallow too long.  After all, I have a good job, a warm house, a refrigerator full of food, a loving family, good friends.  Somewhere, someone is sleeping under a bridge tonight without any pictures of family or a calendar to mark time or a back porch to put his shoes. 

Day 90 -- Thong in a Bag

Been busy living.....  tonight (09 Dec) was my night to volunteer at the youth center.  Middle schoolers can come from 7 - 9 and high schoolers from 9 - 11.  It was a pizza and apple cider party so we had a lot of kids, but four hours has never gone faster.  I get to play ping pong and pool and sing karaoke.....basically I get to act like a kid.  Every adult should be volunteering at a youth center.

Before the youth center, I made a Walmart run, and, as I've done for the last 20+ years, I took my cloth bags so I don't have to use their plastic bags.  When I got home and unpacked my bags, I discovered one of my thongs at the bottom.  This could've been potentially embarrassing if the check-out clerk had pulled them out of the bag thinking that I had shop-lifted them.  Fortunately she either didn't see them or didn't see a tag.  I use these bags when shopping, but I also put dirty clothes in them when I'm traveling.  This dirty thong had been in the bag since Thanksgiving.  That's just as embarrassing as the clerk seeing them.

It feels like the lymph node in my neck is smaller.  I know that I have less ear pain on that side.  Getting those teeth taken care of seems to have helped.

Day 89 -- Dental Drama

I've been playing phone tag for the last two days w/ my older daughter's Mayo gastroenterologist who has ordered a colonoscopy and endoscopy for next week.  She's in the midst of a terrible flare-up of her Crohn's Disease brought on largely by antibiotics for sinus infections and stress from final exams.  One of the tests he wants to run before next week's procedures is a stool sample to check for bacterial infection.  She's done this test well over a half dozen times in the last seven-and-a-half years, and each time the tests come back negative.  When the nurse told me about this test this afternoon, I knew my daughter was not going to be happy.  And I knew I wasn't going to have time to stop by the hospital to pick up the lab kit b/c I had a dental appointment.  While waiting in the dentist chair for the left side of my mouth to go numb, I text my daughter to tell her to pick up the kit.  Understand, she's completely unaware at this point about having to take this test.  When she calls, not texts, I know she's not going to like what I have to say. 

Here's the scene, I'm lying in a dental chair, the dental assistant is on my left wielding an air compressor-like device to blow away the bits of old filling that come flying out of my mouth.  The dentist is on my right producing an unending array of drills that shriek in a variety of frequencies that fortunately are masked by the air compressor.  No frequency, however, is high or loud enough to cover the sound of my cell phone ringing.  It's my daughter.  I reject the call.  She calls again.  I quickly tell the dentist what I have to reveal to my daughter.  He encourages me to answer.  As predicted, she is extremely agitated.  I relay the message that she must pick up the stool kit and tell her that I'm in the midst of getting a filling.  The line goes dead.  The drilling continues.  A tear trickles down the side of my face as the dentist apologizes for all the suffering my family and I have had to endure.  They couldn't write a scene like this in Hollywood.

On the upside....when the dentist was numbing my lower left jaw, I felt twinges of pain in my left ear.  When I told him this, he said some nerves are connected.  Maybe it's not an ear infection or the lymphoma that has been causing the achiness on the left side of my neck.  Maybe it was the cavity and broken tooth.  Supposedly our teeth can be the root (yes, the pun was intended) of aches and pains.  While everything was numb, I had no pain in my left ear or neck.  Now that the Novocaine has worn off, the ache is back.  As always, I'll see what tomorrow brings.

Day 88 -- Full of Crap

Even as I heard myself saying it in class today, I knew I was being a hypocrite.  My students are in the midst of their policy debates, all of which have something to do w/ current Native American issues.  I got on my soap box after one debate and lectured about changing traditions and that if we stand still, we die.  Not exactly what I was harping about yesterday.  All that pendulum swinging and moderation.........what was I thinking.  I'm the frickin' pendulum.