Day 91 -- Pictures, Calendars, & Shoes

Bill paying is depressing, and I was wallowing in a self-pity-party over all the extra expenses happening this month.  It also didn't help that today is the two-year anniversary of Mom's passing.  I called Dad b/c I knew he'd being having a tough day.  During the last two years, he has made few changes in the house he shared w/ my mother for nearly 60 years.  He has put pictures of her in every room of the house that he spends significant time.  He's created a collage for the kitchen table so he can eat breakfast w/ her.  On the sun porch where he spends most of his time, he has numerous photos of her at various times throughout her life.  When dusting, I have to be sure to put them back exactly b/c he has positioned them so he can see her no matter which direction he looks.  On the desk is still the December 2009 calendar with Mom's writing of her meetings and appointments.  On each day she wrote either an "L" or an "R" to remind her which side of her stomach she needed to giver herself the shot.  The letters continue on past her death on 10 December.  Just last month at Thanksgiving he finally allowed me to take away her clothes and give them to Goodwill.  But one pair of her shoes remain on the back porch, right where she took them off the last time.  Each time I sweep and mop there, I move them but put them right back, just like the pictures.  The pictures, the calendar, the shoes all stationary reminders that time passes.

I tried not to wallow too long.  After all, I have a good job, a warm house, a refrigerator full of food, a loving family, good friends.  Somewhere, someone is sleeping under a bridge tonight without any pictures of family or a calendar to mark time or a back porch to put his shoes.