Day 15 -- Breaking Point

Today was a perfect Autumn day........clear skies, bright sun, no bugs.  I went for a three-hour hike at Fort Defiance State Park, found a lovely spot next to the creek, and wrote this poem:

Breaking Point

If I yell, "Uncle," will it stop?
Will She stop testing me?
I shouldn't have thought it.
Back in seventh grade confirmation class,
I asked, "God, please don't test me."
I had never failed a test before,
And this one was worth a lot of points.
My soul.
For 27 years She obliged,
And then She tested me with cancer, a brain aneurysm, and a child with Crohn's Disease.
My faith held.  We survived.
Five years later, She tested me again and took my mother.
My faith held. I survived.
Two years later She tested me again with another cancer.
Now I struggle with my faith everyday.
Each morning I wake with a hope that dissipates with the light.
How much more can I take?
At what point will I break?

The river finds a way.
Over a stone
Under a log
Around a bend.
The sun finds a way to
Burn through the clouds
Rise in the east
Set in the west.
I must find a way
Back to my faith
Forward to hope
Away from the breaking point.