One more thing about working in the concession stand last night......I told a friend about my lymphoma. Looking back at it now, it seems quite surreal. I'm standing behind the counter clasping her outstretched arms on the counter. People are standing all around us, yet all the noise from the other workers and customers and the announcer fade into the background. All that exists is me telling this woman who lost her husband to cancer and her daughter to a car accident within three months of each other. Her husband worked at the college w/ me so I knew she would understand, and I knew I had to tell her. I told her everything w/ a smile on my face, and she said, "You're really taking this well." I should've told her that being around people helps, but then I'm sure she already knows that.
I drove two hours to watch my younger daughter compete in the state marching band contest today. Driving down by myself, I felt rather punk w/ the lymph nodes in my arms, legs, and neck being riotous. I tried very hard to focus on my breathing. I've noticed that when I fully inflate my lungs w/ deep, purifying breaths, the achiness fades. My guess is that the breathing slows my heart rate, which lowers my blood pressure (which has been quite high lately), which makes me feel less stressed, which then eases the lymph nodes. I'm trying to keep my life as stress-free as possible, but it's not easy w/ two, active teenage daughters, an aging, widower father, and 110, panic-stricken college freshmen and sophomores. Oh, and let's not forget an ex-husband who says he's still in-love w/ me and that I can't try to talk to him anymore b/c it only confuses him. So, to my daughters who may someday read this.....the divorce may have been my idea, but him cutting off all communication w/ me is his idea. Even now while writing this, my neck is starting to hurt again, and it was feeling so much better after my daughter and two of her band friends rode home w/ me. This proves yet again that being around people kept my mind occupied, my heart pacified, and the pain nullified.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment