I spent my first Thanksgiving in 19 years w/o my daughters. They continued the tradition I began w/ my ex-husband of going to his family so today I started what may become a new tradition of serving the homeless. I helped to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for about 20 homeless individuals at the day shelter, Cedar Valley Hospitality House (CVHH). It's a day shelter, which I learned today, is a place for the homeless to receive their mail, shower, use the phone, do their laundry, get a hot meal, and socialize. At first I was a little disappointed at such a small shelter. I had grandiose notions of serving hundreds of homeless, although why I would find it more satisfying to have more homeless people is perplexing. I quickly overcame such thoughts upon entering the house at 1003 Mulberry Street. The familiar smells of turkey and dressing greeted me along w/ new smells of loneliness and neglect. I found my way back to the cramped kitchen where Joni Hansen, the director of Hospitality House, and Dan, a former transient who is the only full-time occupant of the house, were madly moving roasters to balance out the breaker usage. The house has no stove or oven so all the food had to be prepared or warmed in roasters and crock pots. The rhythm of the house quickly revealed itself as the people who drift in and out of it on a daily basis adapted to each other's habits. A young woman asked if charging her cell phone would trip a breaker. It didn't feel much different from my own home, with people filling and unfilling the bathroom as I stood at the kitchen sink washing serving trays.
When we took a coffee break, I had an opportunity to sit with some of the transients. The first woman I talked w/ told me she had two children, 8 and 10, who live with her parents in a town about 20 miles away. This woman is very, very thin like someone who has given her body to drugs and too many missed meals. But her hands were beautiful. Long, slender fingers that nervously touched her face as she talked about her children. Later, just when we were about to eat, I noticed she was crying. I hugged her and followed her out to the front porch. She had just been on the phone w/ her father who said he only had six months to live. At first we sat in silence, her b/c of this devastating news and me b/c of the memory of such devastating news. I gave her silence, and then I gave her my story of being in a similar situation four years ago when we were told my mother only had two more years to live. I told this homeless woman, estranged from her daughters and parents, that at least we have the chance to say our "Good bye's." Victims of accidents have no such luxury. I have no idea if I helped or hurt. She left shortly after eating to visit her boyfriend at the psych ward in a local hospital.
Another young man I met who is bipolar has parents living 15 miles away. He'll probably be spending tonight under a bridge. He's been at the Salvation Army shelter for the last 10 days, and his time is up. He won't be able to go back there to sleep now for the next 60 days. He said under the bridge isn't so bad b/c you can climb up and sleep under the girders where you're out of the wind and rain, and the police don't bother you. He has a sleeping bag, and CVHH gave him two new blankets today so he felt pretty optimistic for the evening. He told me of the probation officer he first had ten years ago who is now retired and let's him keep his bags and backpack in her garage so he doesn't have to haul it around w/ him, and it's safe. She also pays him to do odd jobs around her house occasionally. Most of his meds are paid for through assistance programs, but two of them cost him $8.00 a month. It will probably only drop down into the 40's tonight, but colder weather will be here before he can go back to the Salvation Army. There's a Catholic shelter that allows people to stay for 21 days, but then they have to wait 90 days before they can go back. Even after the 90 days, if there's no beds, he can't get in. There's no waiting list. He has to check back there every day after his time limit is up to see if he can spend the night. Joni is a champion for the homeless. She tried several times to find a place for him to stay for the night, but alas there was no room at any inn. I guess the bridge will be his stable for the night.
These people were all very willing to talk w/ me about their past and present lives, but no one talked about the future beyond this evening. Futures don't exist. A man who has a car has no where to sleep tonight so he'll be sleeping in his car again. He once was a janitor in a factory, but he said he walked out after refusing to do something he felt was unsafe, and now they won't hire him back. He has a friend who owns a shed w/ a heater in it so if it gets too cold in his car, he can sleep in the shed. I think about all the walnuts the squirrels have stored in my shed. I don't have a heater for them.
There was another man from New York who watched Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and recognized the streets. I asked if he'd ever like to move back. He said, "No." He has a factory job here that pays minimum wage. I told him about a story I heard last night about the new gold rush happening in Nevada and a young man who was making $70,000. The man who sleeps in his car used his cell phone to Google the current price of gold.....$1800 an ounce. We all laughed in amazement, but Nevada is too far away and too far in the future.
The chief of police showed up, not to harass the homeless but to help serve them. A very gentle and unassuming man, he brought his five children and one international exchange student to help. His oldest son is a senior at University of Wisconsin; swims on the college team; has a bright future. He was the only I told about my illness.
As I waited on the front porch for my brother to pick me up, Gary, a man who said he was tricked by a friend to come here from Virginia, hit on me. He asked if I was married, and when I told him I was divorced, he said he was looking for a good woman. I asked him if he had a job, and he assured me that even though he didn't, he had a lot to offer. I have to give him credit, Gary was the only transient I talked to who was looking farther into the future than just one night. Well, I'm assuming he wanted more than a one-night stand. I didn't feel even a twinge of guilt as I hopped into my brother's new Sebring.
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