Day 77 -- Another Thankful Thanksgiving Meal

A good night's sleep and good food helps smooth over hard feelings and ruffled feathers.  Chronic pain and illness can also be at the root of tempers flaring.  My brother has Fibromyalgia, giving him constant pain, especially after he's had the pressure-point injections, which he had just a few days ago.  My older daughter has Crohn's Disease and has recently been on a low-dosage of Prednisone to clear-up some mouth sores.  Part of her flaring temper was due to this flare-up of Crohn's and a small case of roid-rage.  I think we also understand that no matter how dysfunctional this family is, it's the only one we have.  Maybe that's how we got to this point of not discussing controversial topics b/c rather than spending our time together w/ a friendly debate, we'd spend it in different rooms.  Rather pointless to get together just to spend it apart. 

We managed to have a lovely day celebrating our Thanksgiving along w/ my other brother, his wife, and their youngest son.  We also put up a Christmas tree and other decorations for Dad. This will only be the second Christmas since Mom passed.  He said he didn't want a tree and teases that he'll have to get ready for bed five minutes earlier just to shut off all the decorative lights, but I think he appreciates the fuss.  Enough time has passed that he can look w/ less sadness at the decorations that Mom lovingly put out every Christmas.  I, however, was a little sad in going through all the decorations and finding some from my childhood.  The red, felt reindeer w/ plastic gold antlers and the white plastic sleigh.  Ah, they just don't make decorations like that anymore!!  Mom never threw anything away.  She was a pack-rat, but a very clean and organized one.

I said something today, I don't remember exactly what it was, but it involved the future....how old we'd be and what we'd be doing.  I was elusive and non-committal, and my older daughter said, "Mom, you'll still be around."  I tend to just smile at such comments.  None of us, cancer-free or not, has any idea of what the future holds.  I think that's why the time I spent w/ the group of homeless people resonated so.  They hold no stock for the future.  They live for today, from one moment to the next.  Thankful for a warm meal and a comfortable chair.  I'm going to continue to work hard at eating well, exercising frequently, and boosting my immune system, but the farthest into the future that I'm looking right now is about 30 days. Guess I don't fully have the homeless person's moment-to-moment philosophy yet, but then I'm not homeless and pray that is one trial God won't put me through.